I know guys have a hard time figuring out where to go and what to do in Bangkok's red light districts if they only have one night. Especially today when there is simply so much information. And your mind is buzzing around with questions like, "Which massage parlor should I visit?", "Oil massage or soapy?" and "Soi Cowboy, Nana or Patpong go go bars?".
First off you have to be reasonable with the amount of time you have on hand. Say for example you've arrived at your hotel room in Bangkok at around 2pm and won't have to had back to the airport until after 6am. In that case you've got plenty of time in your schedule for go go bar action, a massage with happy ending or a fling with a Thai freelance prostitute.
However if all you've got is just 5 hours in Bangkok then your options have just decreased. Though you're not completely shit out of luck. But hold that thought, I'll get back to how you can get laid in Bangkok with so few hours.
Pick a Hotel near Soi Cowboy or Nana Red Light District
hotel on Sukhumvit road from Soi 4 to Soi 23. Preferably one that is guest friendly of course.
Because walking from Nana Plaza's go go bars to Soi Cowboy's go go bars requires about a 15 minute walk from one to the other on Sukhumvit road.
Also the Sukhumvit MRT subway stations are near Soi Cowboy which you can connect to the Makkasan Airport train station. It's the quickest and cheapest ride to the airport. 30 minutes and you're at the airport.
But the aiport trains start service around 6am and end about 12am. So keep that in mind while you're planning your trip and wondering whether to take a taxi or airport train.
Taxis are still cheap and quick if the driver takes the highway route. The taxi fare cost about 350THB including highway tolls.
There's no point in staying at airport hotel when you have one full night to fulfill your porn star desires.
You can sort of squeeze in Patpong red light district as well but if you've only have a single night in Bangkok I suggest just to visit Nana Entertainment Plaza and Soi Cowboy. Because Nana and Cowboy both have everything you need and could find in Patpong but with more ranges of adult entertainment venues.
Getting Laid During the Daytime
So there's plenty of daytime action. But most naughty boy establishments do not get into full gear until 6pm.
Which means that BJ Bar or oil massage parlor you planned to visit at 1pm will most likely not have a lot of choices of ladies to pick from.
That said, you may find an attractive looking Thai prostitute waiting for customers on the street corners of Soi Nana where a lot of hookers take up space even during the daytime.
Just take a look around the Nana Hotel's parking area in the afternoon time on Nana Soi 4. Or just walk a little further down Soi 4.
The Best Action is Night Time ActionBeginning at 7pm you can find a lot more prostitutes on Sukhumvit road from Soi 3 through Soi 15. Or head into a bar like Gulliver's Tavern on Soi 7 of the beer garden on Soi 7/1. Plenty of Thai hookers stake their grounds their. Depending on Thai hookers look and age the price for short time is at least 1500THB and they won't go for less than that.
Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza go go bars are still sort of quiet around 7pm so the best times to show up to find the most girls on stage is at 9pm.
If you have the libido and endurance here's what I suggest. You can look for a hooker during the afternoon and head back to your hotel to do the deed. Or you can take a visit to any of the BJ Bars on Sukhumvit road. I recommend visiting Lolitas on Sukhumvit road Soi 8.
After a little rest back at your hotel room you can scope out the beer bars on Nana Soi 4. They are great places to sit, chat with girls and have eyes on the sidewalks as streetwalkers start showing up.
Check Out a Soapy Massage (If you have the time and energy)
Annies Massage. The other is called Darlings Massage (no website) on Sukumvit Soi 12. Both are not a far walk from one to the other, just less than a 15 minute walk.
There are more soapy massage parlors though they are located on a strip called Ratchadipesek (Ratchada) road and they are easily reached by taking the MRT subway train.
If you have at least 5 hours in Bangkok and want to get laid then head to an area called Huay Kwang for soapy massage parlors. You usually get about 60 minutes or 90 minutes with soapy girls.
Which means you have plenty of time to get back to a go go bar either in Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy which close at 1am.
Huay Kwang is not far from the Sukhumvit by MRT train. There is an MRT station right next to Soi Cowboy. You want to take the train to Huay Kwang station which is only 4 stations away, about a 10 minute ride is all it takes.
To End the Night - Head for a Go Go Bar
Nana and Soi Cowboy's popular go go bars are busiest from 8pm to 12:30am. I have 5 favorite go go bars that I love to visit and they are mostly packed with customers during those hours.
And if you're a big fan of ladyboys be sure to check out Nana Entertainment Plaza (NEP). You'll definitely find what you're looking for there.
I prefer visiting NEP's go go bars over Soi Cowboy. This is not to say that I don't like Cowboy. It has a great atmosphere with some of the best go go bars that I always visit.
I like NEP better out of convenience. NEP is on Sukhumvit Soi 4 which means you have the luxury of finding a Thai street hooker in case you don't find anyone you like at a go go bar.
And when the freelance bars in the area close around 1am the sois throughout NEP are flushed with even more prostitutes.
And if you still have plenty of energy and juice you can check out Club Climax in the basement of the Ambassador Hotel. It's a well known after hours club in Bangkok with a ton of freelancers. The Ambassador is good place to stay too because it's guest friendly and located on Sukhumvit Soi 11 so it's not far from either Soi Cowboy or Nana.
So those are your options if you've only have one night to party in Bangkok. Are there more things to do? Of course there are. For me I wouldn't want to waste too much time wandering around Bangkok for action. I would go to a place where everything that I could possibly want and need in one convenient location. And wouldn't want to waste time running around Bangkok on a one nighter. This is especially true if it's your first visit to Bangkok.
So as I mentioned earlier, be realistic with your time and what you can (physically) do. If there's something you missed you can always go back and have the best night of your life in Thailand again!