|I should really stick to visiting massage parlors and go go bars...|
I did some short trips in and around parts of Vietnam because a good buddy of mine put me up to it. So I figured why not bike around in Thailand. Plenty of green scenery and hills upcountry. Stupid move Jim.
Long story short I tumbled more than a few times down some slopes. Got more mosquito bites in one day than I've had in one year. I wouldn't blame the mozzies. It was a long, long bad day.
So what could cheer me up? Heading over to Akane Fashion Massage, the Chidlom Branch of course where I could get my usual skin scrub/massage treatment/hand job.
I would've probably gone somewhere else to get the full treatment but my knees and back hurt like hell. And we all know how important are knees and backs are for performing the dirty business.
Akane's skin scrub, simply called the S4 course cost 1780THB for 2 hours. I typically go for the 80 minute course which cost 1480THB but I have a lot of dirt and grime I want scrubbed off.
I called up ahead to make an appointment with my usual girl. As I've mentioned before, Akane girls, particularly at the Chidlom branch, do not employ the prettiest girls (my opinion of course). But their ladies are trained very well if you know what I mean.
As usual, customers place their valuables inside a locker and the key is secured around the customer's wrist. You'll get lead up to a room first where you disrobe and given a towel to wrap around your waist.
For the skin scrub treatment, customers are lead back downstairs to the basement with about stalls, each a steel table covered with a rubber mat. Kinda looks like an autopsy table at a morgue.
The massage girl first rinses the table down with a shower head and then you lay down with your meat and veg hanging out. Don't be shy, these girls have seen it all.
The skin scrub is done with big coarse grains of salt. It is liberally applied all over your skin. On top of that your massage girls wears these special gloves that helps remove dead skin. For the uninitiated, getting scrubbed down with big clumps of salt and a mitt that feels like sandpaper is uncomfortable.
For me, it's pure bliss knowing that all that shit and grime accumulated during the bike trek is getting washed away.
A nice wash down with soap follows the skin scrub. And if your massage girl is in a playful mood she'll play around with your meat and veg.
And as I mentioned before, Akane Massage is the type of joint where the ladies are trained to play around with your asshole. No I'm not into it. But from what I hear from the ladies a lot of customers ask them to put in a finger or two (and even three, you sick bastards).
Overall, the skin scrub segment of the S4 massage course last around 30 to 40 minutes. The ladies are thorough and they don't rush. Which is a good thing.
Afterwards, customers are taken back to the rooms upstairs where the massage begins and of the course the bj.
Akane Massage is simply one of my favorite places to visit and a place I know I can always get reliable and dependable good service. Even though they don't have the hottest looking girls, to me that's something that I can easily overlook because every time I leave their shop I always have a happy face.