Lessons I've Learned On Whoring Around In Kuala Lumpur

I'm not a total newbie when it comes Kuala Lumpur's nightlife. I've fooled around in KL a few times before on my own but was never truly impressed. This time around though because I have a local Malay who is also a business associate showed me around. So this time around was a real eye opener for me. Kuala Lumpur, I am impressed.

But I'm also the type of guy that likes to learn from my own mistakes. So I did not totally rely on my Malay friend to show and tell me where the best places are and which places I should avoid like the plague.

However, I did ask him to name one of the best saunas with hookers in KL. And he said Saboon Spa. And I do agree. But E2 Spa was quite nice too and for me both of them are at a tie. Does make sense after since both are managed by the same company.

I did not ask him which one is the worst place though. I prefer to find out on my own because I'm a glutton for punishment. But I also did not want someone opinion to sort of cloud my own personal tastes and judgement.

So armed with some basic research on KL's sex industry I set foot to have as much sex and I possibly can muster and perhaps learn a thing or two so I can pass it on to the rest of you degenerates and fellow perverts.

School Is In Session

One first pointer I would tell every newbie off the bat is to never, never, never, ever, ever let a captain choose a lady for you. In Malaysia a "captain" is synonymous with papasan. He's basically the guy who arranges the girl of your choice and answer whatever questions you may have. However, sometimes these captains will choose a girl for you with you being non the wiser.

Choose your own girls. If you don't there is a big chance you'll end up with a granny with sagging tits. I am not kidding. I know sometimes captains try and sucker in the newbies because they're horny and ready to go. If you come across a captain always tell them you want to choose a girl. Or look at the girls first. Because as a customer you are allowed to see what girls they have available.

Of all the times I asked to see their ladies I have never had my request denied. Now I'm not saying captains are shifty and sleazy. It's a business after all and they're trying to earn their pay. That said, I have never come across and disrespectful captains. All that I've come across are very courteous and professional.

Also remember you are not obligated to choose a lady. You can also leave if you can't find any ladies that suit your taste.

Also, since it is Malaysia, every captain, service attendant and receptionist working in these establishments can speak English. So there is no huge language barrier. However, it's a different story with the ladies. But if you're there to have sex and not talking then you'll fit in just fine.

Are The Girls Hot?

Okay, so this is totally my opinion of course. What could pass as beautiful for you could pass for me as butt end ugly. To me, the working girls in KL health saunas are okay. From 1 (ugly) to 10 (hot) I would say the girls I've come across are in the 6 to 7 range. Some are in the 8 range but not a lot. I'll tell you where I think the best girls are on my list of KL health saunas.

The bulk of the working girls in these places hail from the People's Republic of China (PRC), followed by Thais, Vietnamese and may be Lao. Some places have a couple of Russians and Mongolians but these girls are perhaps seasonal meaning if they are either there or not.

That said, there is a chance that while you're visiting one place you may come across a hot looking girl. Because a lot of the sex workers come from China a or Southeast Asia in intervals. Meaning many girls rotate in and out due to expiring visas.

Because ASEAN has relaxed a lot of travel restrictions many working girls looking to make fast cash have now found new fertile ground to potentially earn more money. Almost every time I've been to the saunas I always see different faces.

Hotels are Cheap and Good Quality in Bukit Bintang

There are many budget hotels in Bukit Bintang. For more info on hotels check out this page. Otherwise, check out Sky Hotel Bukit Bintang and you'll see a good example of a cheap hotel in a very good location that is clean and comfortable.

Looking for a hotel with Chinese, Vietnamese and Thai hookers in KL. Then Hotel Soleil will be your cup of tea. It's a shame though Hotel Soleil is a bit run down though. But at least it's cheap.

No Falang Surcharge - My Kinda Places

One thing that totally surprises me is that foreigners are not charged extra like it is in some places in Thailand. You see the thing about Malaysia is that it's a truly multicultrual society. You have the local Malays, then Chinese, Indians and Arabs and everything else in between. So the skin color of the clientele never dictates pricing.

All of the prices I've been quoted and paid for were all checked by my local Malay business pal and he says I've been charged correctly.

One of the captains I spoke to said it best, "Any paying customer is a welcome customer regardless of skin color." Which I know I do have readers from India would be happy to know there are no policies of discrimination in Kuala Lumpur's sex saunas.

I Wish I Was A Teenager In Malaysia

As a guy who frequents Bangkok's red light districts I see that most of the customers are about the same age or a decade younger or a couple of decades older.

In KL, I noticed that when I go to the saunas and health spas in the afternoon I mostly see university aged guys. There are of course some older local retired looking guys but during the early to late afternoon it's mostly younger guys.

And it made me wish why couldn't there be such a place where I was growing up!

The Working Girls Of Kuala Lumpur's Nightlife

So what kinds of nationalities can you find? Well it all depends on where you go. In the health saunas, depending on the establishment's size you can find Thais, Vietnamese, Indonesians, local Malay and of course (PRC) People's Republic of China women. Some shops even have some Russian ladies and Koreans on their lineup. On my list of Kuala Lumpur Sex Saunas you'll find out what kinds of ladies those establishments employ.

You can also find Filipino women but I've never come across them inside health saunas. But you can find them freelancing in bars like the Beach Club.

Hairy Bush and Sexy Moans

I've been with a lot of hookers mostly in Asia. What can I say, I love Asian women. If I wanted a blue eye, blond haired wench I'd stick with my ex-wife. I haven't been with a lot of women from China however. And what I've noticed is that all the PRC girls I've chosen in the health saunas have a bountiful bush.

I'm a neat and trim guy. And that's how I like it. I'm not saying I wouldn't still hit it because I would. A lot of the PRC girls sure are pretty.

And if you're into pornographic moans from women I noticed that many working girls in the saunas can put on quite a performance. I'm not well endowed and I'd be the first to admit it. But to me, the sound of fake moans is off putting. But I'm sure there are guys who would simply love it.

The Girlfriend Experience

Within the 1 month period I've stayed in Malaysia I've been with about 16 hookers, give or take a few. I can't remember the actual number.

But I can remember that every girl I've been with whether PRC, Viet, Thai or Indo ladies they were all very playful. Most of the ladies I've picked out are PRC. And even though I can't speak a lick of Chinese they were all very friendly. Now I don't really give much crap about the GFE but every single lady had an excellent attitude.

Even the Thai ladies were extra special attentive after I broke out my Thai and conversed with them. I suppose they feel I'm a little taste of home so they loved to chat with me and in return I got some extra special services!

There is Such a Thing as XXL Shirts

In list of saunas in Bukit Bintang I mentioned that after enjoying your saunas or jacuzzi time you switch you to your shorts and shirt which resembles pajamas. Now as a westerner I've got a pretty big frame.

Normally I wear an XL shirt size. But XL in Asia might as well be an L which is a big difference. So I found an XL and as I was putting it on I could feel it was a tight squeeze. But like a total dumbass I forced the shirt down and lo and behold it was tight as hell and I looked like a stuffed sausage.

If you're unsure, ask the attendants what size will fit you...

So here's the funny part that will make you pee in your pants. So I proceeded to try and take off my shirt. With some serious effort I got it halfway up exposing my gut and that's as far as it would go. Because my skin was very damp from the steam rooms and showers the shirt was stuck to my skin and like a fool I couldn't see shit and wanted to cry out for help. It was another one of my many Mr. Bean moments in life.

But my ego and pride set in and a couple of minutes late I managed to free myself. Now luckily it was the afternoon time on a weekday which meant there were not a whole lot of people. Also I was around the corner so no one could really see how big of a moron I was.

So after I got the damn thing off I went and asked and attendant, hoping to god he didn't witness my stupidity and asked if there were larger sized shirts. And yes they certainly did!

I have to say, messing around in Kuala Lumpur is fun and so easy to find. It is easy to find some action outside on the streets off Bukit Bintang. Many times while I was walking around I would get asked by Chinese women if I want an oil massage. Which is a gentle way of saying would you like buy sex?

I've never gone that route. But I suppose you can if you choose. I don't know how much they charge do but I do think their asking price is negotiable.


  1. Very good post. If I get bored in Thailand, its a cheap flight down to KL and I understand upscale hotels are cheaper than anyplace in the world.

    1. Thanks. You should check out KL. Yes the flights are cheap. You can find fares as low as $60USD round trip on Air Asia. I'm not sure about upscale hotel prices in KL though. Currently I am living at a friends place in KL. But if I want to be extra naughty I usually book a budget hotel right in Bukit Bintang, about $60USD to $80USD.

  2. you are right it is nice to not have to deal with the falang prices